Apologies

I'm sorry that I can't seem to be happy about life as it is.

Sorry that something's always wrong.

Sorry I can't let just this, what I have here, be enough.

This is my apology

For all my discontent

For wanting more to do when I am bored

And wishing for more time when I'm busy.

For looking too far ahead to see what's here in front of me

And cursing when I stumble on the obstacles between that horizon and myself.

For feeling paralyzed by the accumulation of little concerns

Until all I can do

Is lament about feeling paralyzed.

This is me saying sorry

For every time that I've been sad when I should have been counting my blessings

And every time I've felt angry at others

Because of my own ability to decide what I want.

For all the moments ruined by resentment

Toward the things in my life that I need but don't want.

This is me asking for forgiveness 

And forbearance

For wearing you out with my black moods

And insecurities about my existence

And for expecting you to accept all my apologies

When I feel guilty about it afterwards.