Sometimes I have to wonder why everybody cares so much about what other people do with their genitalia. Honestly, you'd think that would be the one subject that would be completely and totally the business of the person or people directly involved. How much more intimate can you get, really? So why on earth should it be the subject of endless public discussion, political debate, and governmental policy? When I think about it, it strikes me as incredibly creepy. How many people lie awake at night obsessing about where other people are putting their junk, and how they're doing it and what is on it or in it. Ew. Apparently it's not a new thing, though. How long ago was it that a married couple could be arrested for having anal sex? (Or anything that wasn't man-on-woman missionary, for that matter?) Not very, in some states. The Supreme Court finally ruled that private sexual conduct such as sodomy is protected by the liberty rights implicit in the Constitution in 2003. I'm sorry, but really?
But hey, apparently when Thomas Jefferson wrote a law in Virginia in 1778 which punished any man engaging in sodomy with castration, it was rejected as too liberal by a legislature which continued to prescribe death as the maximum penalty for the act of sodomy in Virginia. So really, this is progress, right? Ha. I notice that Wikipedia doesn't specify this law applying only to homosexual acts of sodomy. Guess that means that all those distinguished Virginian gentlemen with an enhanced appreciation of the female derriƩre were risking the death penalty.
"Oh yeah, you shake dat ass..." |
So okay, the Founding Fathers were a bit on the prudish side. What can you expect with all those tight stockings and funny wigs? I had hoped we might have evolved a little further since then, in more than just fashion, but hey.
(And yes, my source for this information was Wikipedia. Apologies to all my college professors.)
The reason this subject has come up was that this weekend was the annual Parents and Family Weekend at my alma mater, and, as a shiny new alumna and in-denial college graduate, I felt obliged to attend the festivities. Sandwich had his mom here for the occasion, which gave me a good excuse to be there. Also, delicious food.
In any case, one of the events that happens every year is one called "Guess the Straight Person", put on by the gay-straight alliance, in which a panel of volunteers (usually club members) answers the questions of the audience in an effort to determine who among them is straight (usually two of the panelists are straight, while the rest identify as everything from asexual to pansexual and everything in between). The idea is to make people think about the stereotypes they associate with heterosexuality and homosexuality (or queerness in general), but to have fun while doing it. The questions from the audience are pretty much anything-goes, except for those that would be a potential "out"-er (example: "do you like having sex with women?" That's a no-go), and panelists can answer as they feel comfortable. It's a great time and also thought-provoking. What more could you ask from a university event?
So yes, I went to an event in which a great deal of the time was spent trying to figure out what people preferred to do with their genitalia based on their taste in TV shows, automobiles and baked goods. (Incidentally, did you know that Subarus are apparently a gay car model? I didn't, and it puts my own ownership of a Subaru in a whole new light) Not surprisingly, the audience didn't have a very high success rate when it came to guessing who was straight and who was not. They generally don't, most years. Which is really the idea, I think. To point out that our assumptions of what is "normal" are completely subjective and that you can't use them as a measure for someone's sexuality. The girl with a penchant for kinky lingerie and bondage? She's straight as an arrow. And the boy next to her with the long-term girlfriend and no visible kinks? He's bisexual. And you know what? It doesn't matter, because we are all people and we all fall in love and really, that thing we do with our junk is the least of it.
When I was on the panel, for some reason all the males on it were wearing blue boxers. That was strange.
ReplyDelete--Daniel Carroll
My year about half the audience was right in guessing me. But then, more people guessed Paul Eldred instead of other-guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-was-very-stereotypically-flamboyant. SO they were clearly full of it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, on a slightly more serious note I do care what people do with their genitalia as it also include female circumcision (or genital cutting) which can be MUCH more serious. Not sure if there is anything else I care about though.